This week was one of my best weeks during my freshman year so far. There were a lot of little moments that made me beam as bright as the warm sun that decided to come out this week. I will mention some below:
Being inactive for two months because of a strained ligament in my ankle has made me out of shape. For weeks now I have been so frustrated in myself that I can't run as fast as my club soccer friends or fit into spring clothes I have been aching to wear. It used to make me so mad that I could push myself and make me run 2 miles on the bike path, but not see results. But then last weekend, as I was running my 2 miles, I realized that your brain and mindset have to change. Ignoring things that bother you, or thinking about them too much makes me feel worse. I thought "Ariana, you have to not only focus on the positive but not ignore the negative. Let it consume you for a couple hours, and then move on. " And ever since that run, I have been doing just that.
I normally go to school in a different sweatshirt and leggings combo every day. But this week it was warm enough to wear short-sleeved shirts, and even the new jean shorts I bought. I wore cute outfits and did my makeup. I made myself look like the queen I felt on the inside. It might've been a bit extra, but I did not care. It made me feel good. People complimented me, and I accepted them instead of rejecting them as I used to. I even got my eyebrows waxed again because it makes me feel less like a monster.
I know dressing up for school and such is not something I need to do to be accepted or anything, it is just simply what I wanted to do. And I haven't truly done something for me in a long time.
I was debating whether to add this, but I think it is a crucial point as to why I am happier. A couple of days ago, I reconnected with someone whom I haven't spoken to in 2 months. There were things I needed to get off my chest and things that I needed this person to know. And I am so glad that we did. We sorted a lot of unsaid things between us, and that overall has made me less stressed and happier that I know this person is in a better place since I last talked to them. I am not sure if said person reads these, but if they do, thank you.
There are quotes and sayings I come across from time to time. There is a specific one that has really stuck to me. It is, "You can't wish it to be true. You have to work it to be true." I feel like this quote has really stuck to me, especially in soccer this past week. I really don't want to sound like I am bragging, but one of my coaches who doesn't normally give out compliments said something to me this week that made me really happy. She told my team that I was the loudest and most aggressive on the field. She also asked me in front of my teammates, "Ariana are you the fastest on the team?" and I said, "Hell no!" and then she asked, "Are you the most aggressive?" and I replied, "yes coach." Even though others may not agree, it felt good to know I was the best at something. It made me feel so good about myself that my hard work does pay off, that I didn't really care about the negativity from some of my teammates. Well, that's kinda a lie- I did cry, but then I moved on. I was so happy about being good at something that I didn't want to focus on the negative stuff.
The last one I will mention is the one that not only made me happy but made others happy too. I texted some of my friends a message about being happy and thankful that they were apart of my lives and my journey. Some of them actually cried not even joking. Some were so happy that I was growing and working hard to accomplish my goals. I am literally getting teary-eyed just typing about how much I love them. But I really do want them to be the best they can be and grow into the people they want to see in the world.
*I really wanted to put this out, but do not worry I will put my answers to the survey up soon:) If you did not take it, check my last post if you would like! Thank you to all of those who responded I really loved reading your responses!*
