It's funny how much has changed from when I started this. 4th Grade Ariana Writes was filled with articles I would write for the school newspaper (that was a nickel) and English assignments I did well on. Ah, I will never forget my spring cleaning article. Now, this has become an outlet for my struggles and accomplishments. I would post so much more, but honestly, it terrifies me. Being vulnerable is a scary thing, but I know how much it helps me in the end.
Speaking of the end, I've reached my final year of high school. To be blunt, I'm not scared. I came into senior year with a solid group of friends by my side and our freshmen siblings. I am a different girl from when I started high school. I was a strong people pleaser who self-deprecated and let her anxiety control her. I've learned that people who aren't living my life should not dictate what I do in my life. I learned that with effort, commitment, and time, you can build lasting relationships. I never would've expected my friend group to be so small, but I couldn't ask for a better group of girls. We are the main characters in our story, as we should be.
I want to bring this post back to the hero's journey, something I learned in freshman year English class that is one of my first posts. It is a cycle, with the plot and character development that leads to a new understanding of life, something I tend to write about often on my blog. I was talking to a friend today and I said, "this is the start of a new season in the show called life." This statement really resonated with me. We have our fair share of conflict and plot twists, but that's what life is. As long as you come out alive and learned something new, you will succeed. The season may have ended with bleacher painting, but our new season is just around the corner. This time with a new set of characters:)
I found my sense of worth. That was my atonement. I learned how much I matter and to not base my validity on people. I deserve to take space in this world and grab hold of every obstacle in my way. I'm still learning to ask for help and trust the other person in helping me, but I have gotten a lot better. I ask my parents for help with college stuff and I appreciate all the help they've given me, even though I did the search process all by myself. It is such a good feeling to wake up and remember that I am wanted in this world. I feel so empowered and it brings myself and others up. Whether I am at band practice or work or school, I have such a positive outlook on life and radiate my positivity.
*the title is from Brand New Me by Alicia Keys*
